I've blown a few things in my day
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
whose parrot is this?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
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