he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
