ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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