Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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