you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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