My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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