i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Randomize
