is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
The best revenge is premature balding
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
