hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize