One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
We talked him into tasing himself.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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