i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Damn victory sex feels great
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
