Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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