I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
