Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
