she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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