ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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