My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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