Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
