I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
