Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
