I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
