i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
