I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Randomize
