playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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