so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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