just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Randomize
