So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
