States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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