Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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