My brain says no but my pants say off.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
