Sry I called you an 8
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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