at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize