i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
