there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
