So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize