Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
