Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
