Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
