Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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