How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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