He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
