Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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