so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Randomize
