kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
