Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
