we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
