i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
