then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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