Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
