i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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