its not stalking. its research.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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