We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
