my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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