Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
