just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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