he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
