I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
