omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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