I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
