I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
