Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
