Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize